I love nothing more than a freshly stocked salad bar. This is
where clean eating truly begins. Right? You get in line,
load up on your lettuce of choice, add some spinach,
cucumbers, tomatoes, olives, onions, cheese, eggs,
sunflower seeds, and then you get to the dressing.
Dressing? I have identified the source of my problem.
If I were used to clean eating, I could use the vinegar and
oil and be all excited and shit. But, no. I go right for the
buttermilk ranch dressing. Now, I have a heaping plate of
healthy delicious vegetables and buttermilk ranch dressing
is staring at me. I use the ladle and put some on my plate. It
looks good, but it’s not enough for all those vegetables I
have rolling from my plate onto the floor. So, I use another
heaping ladle full of the buttermilk ranch dressing.
There’s 140 calories in two tablespoons of my dressing of
choice. I have NEVER EVER used only two tablespoons of
dressing on my salad in my entire life. As I stand here, I try
to figure out how many tablespoons are in a restaurantsized salad dressing ladle. Not just one ladle, oh no. I had
to use two in order to make sure there was enough dressing
for each piece of lettuce.
Can someone tell me what good a salad bar is for clean
eating if you don’t use the vinegar and oil or low-fat
dressing? I just spent fifteen minutes carefully choosing the
greenest, freshest vegetables for my salad only to add over
one thousand calories of dressing to it. I may be wrong, but
I believe I just added more than half of my entire daily
allowance of calories just in the salad dressing.
Hold on, I’m not done yet with the salad bar. The salad bar
I go to in Florida also has a baked bread counter, a soup
counter, and get this, a loaded potato counter, and a dessert
bar. If I didn’t ruin my clean eating and/or diet with the
salad dressing, I sure as hell didn’t stand a chance with the
bread bar. There’s not a fat girl alive who doesn’t like
bread, or potatoes, or dessert. There may not be any person
alive who doesn’t like those things, period.
I’m not sure where my poor eating habits came from. I
know that eating healthy is expensive. Hot dogs are a lot
cheaper to buy than lean ground beef. Maybe that’s where
it started. My childhood. Yeah, that must be it. It’s my
mom and my dad’s fault. I’m just kidding, this is all Rex’s
fault. He’s the one who started my diet crusade. He’s acts
like he doesn’t remember those two little words he said to
me in the midst of an argument, but I know he’s just lying
in wait to use them again.
Seriously, I would love to blame someone else for my diet
failures. I could blame it on baby weight from my last
child, and I have actually done that a time or two. But since
my last and youngest child is 29, it’s just not believable.